Every Sunday morning we (my husband, our children and I) talk via Skype, with our Hungarian family. This Sunday though, our trivial family conversation, at some point went like this:
‘So Adri, what is this that you are doing now!? We saw your picture at a panel on Linkedin! –this was my young and very talented sister-in-law asking me.
‘Oh that was the launching of the website; Brasileiras do Vale! You know, I was supposed to be the moderator of that panel, but ended up being in the panel!’
‘What was the panel??’ – sister-in-law, very successful, career woman, CEO of a multinational company…in Europe.
‘Oh, 3 chairs: career woman, female entrepreneur and …full-time-mom’.
My sister-in-law immediately started laughing and asked:
‘Adri, where on earth were you sitting?!’
At that point we both knew what she meant…
Different phases of a woman’s life…I had being in those exact 3 chairs, at different times, in different countries. And yet, when it was time for me to ‘formally’ occupy my current chair…I trembled. One thing is to be a full-time-mom to your kids. Another, is to tell the whole wide world: ‘I am a full time mom!!!’ And, take your seat right next to your past lives -which by the way you do miss sometimes!
The thing is…once I sat on that chair and started talking, it all came back to me… And in all my humbleness I took pride and certainty that I was doing a heck of a job as a stay-home-mom.
I embraced it and wanted every stay-home-mom in that room to feel the way I felt. Before I started speaking though, I kind of fast forwarded that event in my mind for a second: I imagined myself walking away from the panel, at the end, having no one, absolutely no one coming to say hello to me or let alone ask me any questions whatsoever, about my humble life.
However, what happened on that November 5th was quite the opposite. After nearly 5 years away from the public… I happened to inspire a bunch of women! To my surprise, they already knew me before I came to occupy my seat at the panel…
You guys are listening to me…Wow! Thank you so very much 😉
Back to Sunday morning Skype call:
I explained to my family what I currently do, apart from taking care of the children, the house, having a blog and a cat…I told them how involved I am with two fairly large groups of women, by writing up, creating opportunities, organizing events, engaging women, being present in social media, etc…When again, my sister-in-law says:
‘Wow! Adri, you found yourself a job! – and her eyes were kind of gleaming…
My husband then, explained…
‘No, no it is not a job, but it is good, she is getting to know a lot of people ….’ – my sister-in-law swiftly interrupts him, and calmly asks her brother:
‘Jancsi, what is the definition of a job, for you?’
From here then, nothing else matters! Yes, my sister-in-law is fast! And man are… not 😉
Such a smart question, at perfect timing.
What is the definition of a job, for you?
Tell me; if you are at home right now, reading this…and you are a stay-home-mom, or you are an expat woman who left a whole ‘self ‘ behind you… you are now back to studying, you are blogging, you are volunteering, or you are rediscovering yourself, your old and new talents. What is the definition of a job for you?
Maybe you already have one, or like me, way more than one! Just give yourself a title (or a few ones;) and do not fill in those gaps with: housewife, homemaker. Be creative! Writer, Model (Role), Missionary…or whatever feels right to you. I am not comfortable with the title ‘housewife’ because I did not marry the freaking house. I married a smart and handsome man. I am not a homemaker either, I do not make houses, great builders do! I do not make a ‘home’ either; we all do: my husband, our children and I. So, I cannot bear the title alone 😉
You see? It is easy! Love yourself and what you are doing right now, because I truly believe this is exactly what you are supposed to do. This is your mission, right here. No need to look any further…
ps.: The other two ladies seating next to me are very admirable women in their business paths, and also moms. They know what I am talking about; we have been in each other’s shoes.