I know (now!)

42-years-old, 3 children; 2 teens, one toddler. And, I have not even mentioned a Hungarian husband, gravity and menopause… – I’m not there yet (menopausal!), but would love to be! Just the thought of being reproductive-free makes me smile!! Yippee! Menopause where are you!?

It was at an absolute moment of despair that I sat at my desk, away from ‘children’s chaos’, and  saw this flyer:’ Love and Logic’ parenting course. I grabbed the phone and immediately booked a place for myself!

A couple of days later, desperation being gone, comes the regret: ‘What were you thinking? How old are you exactly, and how many children have you got?! Shouldn’t you know better by now, woman?!

The thing is, came Monday there was I – in a bit of a disbelieving mode – sitting and waiting to be amazed by my first session in parenting lol.

And I was! Totally amazed with lesson 1 and cannot wait for lesson 2! O my Gosh! There really is a simpler way to talk to my children and get them to do things, to be responsive and not to get into argument! Ta-dah!

I saw myself taking notes and having such a good laugh! It is so reassuring to hear other parents (it always is, but it felt even better to know there is a remedy to chaos and, there is chaos in every family 😉 I could not wait to come home and ‘test it out’. And I did just that:

Lesson 1: Pretend you are brain dead, do not buy into argument. Adopt a ‘one liner’ such as: ‘I know…’ or ‘I only argue at 6am, on Saturdays’ (love, love this one, works great with teens). And you should sound as boring as you can possibly be!

Last night, my teen:

-Why do we have to clear the table now? I hate doing that, I’m tired!

I know (the new boring me)

-No one has to do it, only us!  I am tired, I want to sit down! (she was saying this while carrying things from the garden table into the kitchen after our dinner 😉

I know

-Clara is not helping! She is soo annoying, mom!

I know

-Clara; what did I say? (me sounding as cool as a cucumber!)

-To clear the table…I am doing it mom…

I know (me!)

-Why do we have to do it all the time? Why don’t we just eat in the kitchen? It would be way easier! Why do we have to eat outside? Just because it is Summer? I don’t care!

-I know…

-Stop saying ‘I know’ mom! You are saying that because you went to that stupid parenting course!!

-I know… – O my Gosh, at this point I had to discreetly make my way into my bedroom and muffle my laugh into pillows!!!! It was working! She was mad and doing her chores and I? I was soo calm and feeling soo good about myself as a parent!! Score!

Later on, my toddler:

-Mateus, put your toys in the box, please.

Mute and no action whatsoever…

-Mateus, what did I say? (the new me: calm!)

Mute

-What did I say? (still calm!)

Mute and ignoring me

-What did I say?

Ok…I said this one liner : ‘What did I say?’ nearly 10 times!! (I was starting to think this would not work…when…)

He started putting the toys away…Magically, but, stopped before finishing off…

-Whoever puts the toys away, gets to keep the toys, so I guess these ones, will be mine.

He thinks…he says ‘NO!’ He puts the toys away! All of the toys! -This is a 3-year-old.

No screaming, no chaos. Just love and logic 😉 Love it!

A bit later on…The teens:

-Mom, Clara hit me!

-Mom, Julia is annoying me!

-Yes, that is true! I am annoying her and she hit me! (Ok, here you can see this one is asking for it…she wants to see (o circo pegar fogo kkkk) her parents in rage, she is pushing all the buttons!

-Juliahhhh! What is this business? Come here you two!! Right now! What on earth are you two thinking! –That wasn’t me, talking… That was my husband with his volume up and chaos forming all around the house…lol Until, I said to him; watch and learn luv:

-Girls, you don’t usually fight like this…you need sometime by yourselves, you need to do some bonding. Here, come here girls, do the laundry together, please.

-Mom!! I don’t want to do the laundry with her!

-I know…

And, there were the girls, working together, in the laundry room, away from an audience…Peace was restored, again! Not to mention the benefits of a tidy laundry!

I am picking up my son at pre-school now. But I will be blogging about every lesson I learn with Love and Logic! Welcome your questions and shared experiences.

I am amazed and feeling so good! Now I know! I know 😉

https://i1.wp.com/laurapolk.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Mom-Screaming.jpg  Gonne!

 

Adri xxx

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4 thoughts on “I know (now!)

  1. Hi Adriana, I really enjoyed reading this! I’m a mother of two teens and being a nanny for over 20 year! I really love my job, but of course dealing with my own kids is not as easy as the children I care for.
    It’s funny to read about your new technic, because I’ve been trying the same one lately! And just to spice it up, try saying “I rear you”.
    Regards,
    Mirtes

    Like

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