Dona Adriana, o pessoal da cobranca ta ai, o que que eu digo pra eles?!

Ai, ai…eu soh sei que nada sei! rs!

Hoje em dia, tudo eh ‘bullying’, ou nao eh ‘appropriate’, ou nao eh politicamente correto.

Eh uma cobranca danada. Coloque filhos no meio, entao?! Ui ui ui.. ai eh que complica! Mas, nao, espera um pouco; coloca tambem, um marido ou uma esposa estrangeira na situacao! Hahahahaha dificil, hein! Nao, nao, nao… espera, espera, acrescente ai ‘just for fun’ rs a tal familia, num pais estrangeiro tambem, que nao eh nem dela, muito menos dele e tao pouco dos filhos, pois esses nasceram ainda num terceiro pais. E ai, estao seguindo? rs! Vamos lah!

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Mentir: nao pode, nao deve, eh feio. E eh mesmo. Mas, eu ja menti, hein! E muito. Eu tinha uns 16 anos, e era secretaria temporaria bilingue, na Volks. Meus chefes deixavam ateh listinha: Dr.Mario Cassapava (nao estou de forma alguma), Sra. Marina Miranda Mendonca (Estou numa viagem a negocios e soh retorno segunda que vem), Silva (inventa qualquer coisa, mas hoje eu nao estou para ele! Se vira!).

Ou entao eu tinha que mentir na lata e no improviso, sem titubear!

-Engenharia de Manufatura, bom dia! – eu, ao telefone.

-Bom dia, por favor o Fernandez? – Voz do fulano que esta atras do meu chefe ha dias…

-Quem gostaria? – voz da secretaria cinica (eu) que finge, realmente, nao saber que eh o Chato, de novo, na linha (coitado).

-Paulo Chato,  Volks Ipiranga.

-Um minutinho por favor, vou tentar localiza-lo (pronto, deixa o cara esperando, meu chefe sentado na sala dele, em frente  a minha, cocando e eu? Mentindo descaradamente).

-Sr. Chato, o Sr. Fenandez esta em reuniao posso anotar recado?

…..Nao pode mentir! Sim, nao pode, ateh a pagina 10. E se eu ‘nao mentisse direito?!’ Ah, eram berros e mais berros na minha orelha! Sim, tive chefes maravilhosos na Volkswagen, SBC rs! Mas, em compensacao, como fui criada por uma tia bem legal porem neurotica (ate uns 5 anos de idade); ela gritava com tudo e todos. Entao, eu ate que segurei super bem a onda de tantrum dos meus ex-chefes rs. Quando fui para NY no meu primeiro dia de trabalho na empresa, uns funcionarios vieram me ‘avisar’: ‘Meu, se segura, porque a fulana eh irada, virada no saci, e grita com todo mundo, locona mesmo (a nossa CEO, e eu respondia direto a ela…). Minha resposta: Sorry, I’m not impressed. ‘You don’t know a thing about me!!! kkkkkk

Minha filha, um dia, veio da escola toda cheia de direitos  rs falando sobre um tal texto que a professora deu sobre como os pais mentem as criancas, desde de bebes…e ela explicava:

-Mae, voce mesma mente, bastante, viu mae?!

-O que? Como assim?! – Eu, chocadesima!!!!!!!!rs!

-Ah, voce falou pro Mateus que foi o papai que pos as luzes de Natal no Vasona Park inteiro…que o papai ia consertar o carrinho do Mateus mais tarde…- e ela ia prosseguir quando eu a interrompi…

-Filha, voce queria que eu dissesse para o seu imaozinho, que o papai nao ia consertar aquele carrinho nunquinha porque aquilo nao tinha conserto? Ou quebrar o coracao do menino e dizer que foi o tiozinho que ele nao conhece que pos as luzes no Vasona!? Quando o menino em todo lugar Natalino iluminado que ve, vibra e diz: papai pos luz!!! rs! No way!

-Entao, mae, ta vendo como voce mente?! – Dai, eu penso: um mundo infantil sem mentirinhas eh um mundo sem fabulas! Me deixa em paz rs!

Apanhar! Nao pode bater, nao pode gritar, nao pode dizer ‘nao’ frequentemente, para as criancas.

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Mas, elas podem fazer tudo acima e a gente fica com cara de pirulito, com nivel de stress lah em cima, soltando fumaca pelas ventas rs, e dizendo, calmamente:

-Okay Pedrinho, voce soh deu um chute na mamae hoje! ‘Good try! You get one sticker on your behaviour chart’! Keep up the good job, sweetheart! 5 stickers and you get quality time with daddy!!!! =0 (Ta bom, Pedrinho, hoje voce soh chutou a mommy uma vez! Valeu o esforco! Vai ganhar um adesivinho!!! So mais 4 adesivos e voce vai poder passear com o papai!! So voces dois!! (tipo: vamos juntar o util ao agradavel: o pai do menino mal tem tempo de dizer ‘boa noite’, entao tempo com papai vira ‘premiacao’!! – Have I missed anything here?!?).

Minha mae diz que, antigamente, era bem mais facil educar: usava a psicologia do chinelo havaiana, e pronto. E nada de pedir desculpas porque bateu, porque deu uns berros na orelha, nao rs. Apanhou? Levou bronca? Foi porque mereceu.

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Doces! Nem vou elaborar nessa aqui rs! Nao pode dar muito, tem idade para introduzir, pirulito eh crime…e estah certo…mas, posso falar um negocio?! Na boa, hoje, eu dei um pirulito para o meu filho pela primeira vez (era organico e sem hight fructose corn syrup rs mas infelizmente, tinha acucar kkkk) e fiz pior: coloquei o ‘muleque’ em frente a telinha assistindo ‘Chuck the truck’! Pequei. Pode me apedrejar rs!

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Pois eh, Arlete, fala pro pessoal da cobranca; passar amanha! Porque hoje minha querida, eu nao estou podendo!

Tem dias, gente, que nao dah para ser a mae perfeita. Ha situacoes em que nao dah para falar soh portugues em casa, e ha pessoas que cobram demais das mamaes…

‘De todo o meu passado, boas e mas recordacoes, quero viver meu presente e lembrar tudo depois, nessa vida passageira eu sou eu voce eh voce! Isso eh o que mais me agrada…!’ Flores em voce! Ira!!!!!!!!

flores

Adri xxx

ps: Bullying eh papo serio! Mas eu nao poder dizer: aquela sua amiguinha, Japonesa! Isso nao eh bullying po!rs!

Bater nao eh legal, porem quase todos nos, em nossa geracao apanhamos e muito rs! Por isso, rio dos ‘exageros’ em padroes de comportamento 😉 Educacao balanceada 🙂

‘I don’t know about you; but I’m feeling 22!’

A good old friend, whom I have not seen in a while, calls me:

‘Hi!! I loved the pictures you sent me!! The children are so beautiful and so big!!! And you?! You look the same! What have you done?! You’ve had botox! You did, didn’t you?! – and by the tone of her voice I knew she meant: Botox! ha-ha!

‘No! I’ve never had botox! I have no money for botox lol I have 3 kids, remember?!  What I do have; is a good camera lol!

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No way! I’ve refused epidurals and now you guys think I will go through this? Kiss my wrinkles! 😉 Injecao na testa nem de graca  kkkk! To fora!

Truth is; I do have a crazy, hectic life with my 3 darlings. No small luxuries, like if we lived in Brazil (you know the ‘empregada’, manicure at your place, family support…). But, I have the life I chose to have. No one said: you must marry that guy, full stop! Or, You must have 3 children! Or, You must follow that Hungarian man around the world and eat paprika with all your dishes! Hahaha! Nope, I made those decisions all by myself. And now, in my 40’s, I completely realize it. Wakey wakey! Some people mature much much later…(this is not just a male privilege).

 bela

 

I am truly happy.  Less weight on my shoulders… I’ve let go some of my die-hard thoughts, such as: ‘Shame on you! You are not a working person; you do not deserve to have any fun, especially on Fridays! lol

Seriously, it had been hard for me, at times, to enjoy my expat life. I started my career at age 15 (Yep, Volkswagen, Brazil) in a developing country. Around me, many worked ever so hard, many were sleeping in the streets, many were little children asking for money, at traffic lights, and many were very happy just to have ‘pao velho/stale bread’ given to them for their supper, at the end of their day. I constantly thought and still do of all these people, my people. Who did I think I was? Enjoying my life abroad, in safety and not even working?

These were some of the ‘things’ in my mind throughout these years, as a trailing wife. And, there was also the feeling that I was failing my mom, who brought us up (3 girls) to be very independent and happy.

 trailing wife

But at this great awakening (ha ha) of mine, I thought: independent? Yes, I am. If I suddenly have no husband for whatever reason (!) I can fend for myself and for my children, thank you very much! Besides, I’m Wonder Woman! An Amazon, a fighter! lol. And happy? Well, look at me, mom! Feeling 22!

 

I’ve had my own business, worked in some cool jobs in different countries, and now I am with my children, going mental, advising my husband (Senior Business Advisor and Relationships Moderator, Me).But, look at the cool stuff I also do, for myself! Fearlessly! lol, I warn you; in order to do these things you cannot, possibly, take yourself too seriously 😉

It all started a couple of weeks ago. My toddler woke up determined to drive me ballistic, before 9am! That morning, I decided to take ballet classes (hold your laughs for the end!). At my daughter’s dance school, they offer Adult ballet – the owner had told me long ago, I was welcome to try the classes, and bring Mateus, too.  I filled a little bag with puzzles, water, apple. Grabbed my little monster, and went to ballet. If I was gonna go insane that morning, some ballet dancers would go down with me! You see, I live abroad, have no one to share moments like this with. So, I found myself some lovely company. Yay!

ballet momIf you think you can’t you won’t, if you think you can…You can!

Mateus was ever so quiet, sitting in a corner. And, I was wondering: what was he thinking? Seeing his mom dancing so very gracefully (not!). Anyway, It worked great! Besides the pirouette time…no major downfalls lol I thought I’d totally got the pirouette thing going when from the corner of my eyes, I saw the teacher rushing to the other end of the room with her arms stretched out like: I got you! I got you! Don’t’ worry! I got you! lol Man, I was ridiculously dizzy and aiming at the door! lol

Well, let’s just say ballet is not for me. But, it saved my morning! Take that Mateus! 😉 You threaten me again and I take you to…crochet!

Then, there was the episode of my teen wanting to enroll for volleyball and not doing it, at all, after I paid for a 6-week-course! Guess who is doing volleyball?! No, not my tween, she is the dancer, you throw her a ball and it just goes straight past her. She doesn’t even flinch. My husband!? No way! I won’t even comment here. Me!? Yes!!Me!! Loving it!

                                                         

After a lot of Pilates I’ll even get to wear the little volleyball shorts!(kidding!)

To sum it up: My name is Adriana; married, 3 wonderful children. I play volleyball once a week, do Pilates Reformer twice a week, throw in some zumba times. My parts are all original not due to pride, but to fear! Fear of needles and knives lol. Besides, my husband loves antiques.

I believe in God and prayer, a lot of it! My knee shields are not just for volleyball!

I am living the life I’ve got, with no regrets. Expat women: try it out! Give yourselves a chance to be someone you could not really be in your own country 😉 It is fun!

free adri

Adri xxx

ps. Guys, today is Friday, you know everyone is happy on Fridays…just wait until I write on Monday!

Parem tudo que eu quero descer!

Por que fui ter meu terceiro filho depois de 12 anos que tive a primeira?! Fala serio? Por que nao fiz como minhas amigas Inglesas; escadinha: 1, 2 e 3 aninhos rs! Na epoca, elas  andavam descabeladas, mas hoje em dia, devem estar belezinha! Pelo menos, as que sobreviveram… rs! Sei lah se tem um jeito melhor ou pior, certo ou errado; em relacao a quando  se ter os filhos. Preparada, a gente nunca estara mesmo. Eu, com certeza, nao estava nem um pouquinho consciente que minha vida iria se transformar num maremoto rs!! Mas, ao final do dia, quando vejo meu pequeno dormindo,  como um anjinho e de maozinhas fechadinhas, ainda segurando firme seus pequenos carrinhos; eu esqueco de tudo que ele me aprontou rs, e soh tenho a agradecer!

Entao, minha vida de NY mom de 2 meninas jah grandinhas…almocando fora toda semana, participando de varios grupos internacionais, jantares mil, de emprego full-time para zero…para mae full-time, de 3, na California…okay, nao soa tao mal assim 😉 Mas o nivel de stress; triplicou!!!!!!! 

Eu nao paro mesmo: parece que vivo soh para alimentar meus filhos…e quando penso em ‘fechar’ a cozinha rs…lembro que ainda tem a teen que chegara do colegio soh as 10 da noite (semana de preparacao da ‘Haunted House’ e dos atores, aff Halloween nos EUA eh papo serio rs!).

Agora, imagina o berreiro, a frustracao (minha!rs) de um toddler em ter que entrar e sair de um carro, umas 12 vezes (sim contei!), em um dia soh?! Pega as irmas na escola, leva na danca, Kumon, tenis, escola de novo, mercado…  http://bethlambdin.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/daniel.jpg Poxa, o bichinho, lah pelas 5 da tarde estah num mega irreversible tantrum mode. Eu? Dirigindo e tentando imaginar onde estah meu ‘happy place’ no meio do transito e daqueles farois vermelhos! Mas, nao estamos a sos no carro, estamos com a minha menina cacula (aka: a do meio) que estah tocando no seu cell, musica japonesa, ‘a la manga’, ‘vocaloids’, e me contando tudo, tudo sobre seu dia, sobre o dia da amiga e da professora carrasca, e do menino que copia as coisas dela e da briga que rolou com nao sei quem, blablablahhhhhh….conversa infinita enquando o irmaozinho estrebucha no car seat! Alguem me socorre faz favor!?

Chegamos em casa as 6:30 da tarde..minha cabeca assim: plano A, falhou… plano B, falhou, plano C? C danou! A mamae tem que inventar uma janta enquanto o menino quer andar de bicicleta lah fora e sua irma nao pode olha-lo porque tem varias tarefas de escola para serem feitas e jah sao….quase 7 horas,  hora do menino dormir. Stress? Nao, que eh isso!rs!      

Bem, nessa vida a gente da noh em pingo d’agua rs e a janta sai, o menino vai pra cama, de banho tomado e tudo (!). A irmazinha estah jantada, fazendo tarefa, o papai chega bem na hora de dizer: ‘boa noite meu filho’ …(lucky!). E eu preparo minha banheira e me afundo lah dentro…aiiiiiiii alivio…

Saio da banheira, e vou fazer meu cha pensando: vou sentar na cama, blogar e dormir. No entanto, todo o meu delirio se finda quando chego a cozinha: de pernas pro ar; panelas abertas no fogao, varios copos, vasilhas sujas, restos de comida no chao, reciclagem pelas bordas…Meu marido sempre ajuda, acontece que hoje ele estah se preparando para coisas importantissimas (damn it! rs). Okayiiiii…respiro fundo e encaro mais essa (reparem que eu estava toda fresca, leve, relaxada, locaozinha no corpo e tudo mais rs).

Pronto! Termino!!! Vou caminhando com meu chazinho em direcao a gloria! ‘Me time!’. Porem…tem um mega relogio proximo ao corredor que esfrega na minha cara: ‘9:40 pm…Daqui 25 minutos sua teen chega, varada de fome, precisa jantar…!’ Buahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Resumindo: Ela chegou, esquentei a janta, e quando pensei em sair de fininho (‘Me time!’)…a vozinha me diz assim:

‘Mae, voce vai sentar comigo?

‘Claro, soh vou pegar meu roupao de banho, espera ai…’

Mae, mom, mommy, mamae, manheeeeeeeeee! Cade a minha!? Never mind 🙂

Adri xxx @ altas horas da noite… Chegaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh que eu nao sou de ferro! rs!

Multicultural family!

How would you like to hear this, on your super hectic Friday morning?

‘Why did you have to make choc chip pancakes?!? Why can’t we be just like any other family and have cereal for breakfast???’ – says a disbelieved teen daughter to her worn out mom! We were in the car, going to school.                                                                          https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR4AY-Rb1FwtOnkZTj15yHdgnQQFAYtNfjnVRFg6x5472UrmelJNg

‘It was not the pancake that delayed me! But your brother’s tantrum! And you! Straightening your hair, putting mascara on, while I slaved on in the kitchen making pancakes for you! (Brat brat brat brat, incredible little braaaaattttttt – No, I did not say that to her; I just really wanted to).

My eldest has some British  traits in her (we came to the US when she was 8), and the strongest one is: being on time. It so happens I am Brazilian; needless to say anything else here. I try really hard, every morning, to be on time. But things happen; like our lovely toddler boy, stiffing himself up in the car and not wanting to put his jumper on! (it as 8 degrees celsius!).  We tried everything; I even pointed to our neighbour’s scary Halloween decorations and said to him:

‘If you do not behave and put your jumper back on, that skeleton over there, you see the one sitting on that chair? He will stand up, come here and get you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (My teen seemed rather surprised with my psychological approach).

Then, my little boy said (while I was reversing the car out of our driveway):

‘Mommy, mommy, turn back! I want to see the ‘keleton walk’!!!! – he is my only American born child; Halloween does not scare him a bit. We were then, running a tad bit late.

Breathe! Just another morning…

By being a multicultural family, every now and then we deal with ‘comparisons’. And I tell you, in a household with 4 nationalities or more, like this one; you hear crazy things. Things that make me cringe, but mostly, things that make me crack! Yep, I laugh…what else is left for me to do? Hear these…

”I wish you were more like the American parents!’ (Okay, the girls were like 5 and 8 when we heard that one; I wonder what the status is now that they are 11 and 14…?).

‘Why can’t we just eat cereal? (Yah, why not? Instead of omelets, smoked Hungarian sausages, ‘pao de queijo’ Brazilian cheese bread, homemade yoghurt, lovely warm choc chip pancakes and your favourite Hungarian crepes…why why?!).

‘Why can’t we just have pizza?’ (this is my favourite; after cooking an awesome and laborious Brazilian or Hungarian meal! Practicality is everything! Why did I not think of it?!? Store bought pizza, ta-dah!).

‘But all my friends sleep with their cell phones in their bedroom!’ I am the only one…!

‘But all my friends have iphones, ipods, ipads! I’m the only one…!’

‘Brazilians make jokes all the time; it’s mean!’ – (Mean?!? It is funny!).

‘Hungarians are so serious!’ – (Make up your mind, girls! Serious, funny,  mean?! I guess we cover everything here, so one way or another, you should be happy, ‘no’ ?! 😉

Yes, yes, it is so very tough to be a teen in a multicultural family. At times, we all seem discombobulated (most of the time, I should say!). We discuss everything and anything. We present trillion points of view at the dinner table. We mostly disagree, we sometimes take sides: Hungarians to one side; Brazilians, Britt’s and American wannabes to another. Or, Hungarians and Brazilians to one side and all the others, against us!

The funny thing is; when we have people over, they never want to leave (If you’re reading this and you have been to our place, don’t deny it, lol!). Wouldn’t that show something good about us??? Wouldn’t it, girls?! 😉 I can think of at least 3 things:

1. Good food!

2. Good conversation!

3. Good company!

We may be different but it is a good different. And hopefully a ‘different’ that will give you the ‘edge’ you will need for your brilliant future, my darlings! 😉

Adri xxx

ps: the latest thing I heard this morning was from my little boy (2-years-old) in the car:’Mom will go to all my football games!’ Hu?! Where did that one come from?!?! He doesn’t play anything (yet)! O boy! lol! So much for this American life of mine! Looking forward to it Mateusao!

‘In the end everything is gonna be alright; if it is not alright, it is not the end’

So, it must, certainly not be the end for me, yet! Because, no, it is not alright (lol).In the very week I was thinking about getting the whole family ready for flu shots; we fell down with it. One, by one, by one…falling falling one by one by one (Yap, my tween listens to Linkin Park, a lot).

A week and a half has gone by, the crew has gotten out of this horrible virus and me? I was looking after everyone, working double shift (ha ha) as my husband got worse than any of us! Everything with man is so much more pronounced…they  really meet death so much more often than us; mere women! Poor little things men are… Ow, me? I forgot.

This week though, I did something I rarely do: made a promise…I promised to be grateful, and try really hard not to complain about life.

Yes, I do regret that, but it is done. Now what? How does one genuinely do it? My mom knows; she’s been trying to teach me not to complain, for a lifetime! But it is not really catching on, is it?! (kidding…). I feel like an obnoxious being. A rebel. A wiseless person. An ungrateful brat.

Maybe I really am all of those above, or maybe not. Maybe there are some feelings deep inside me which are so unresolved that stop me resolving the simple things in my life! Maybe.

In any case, I’ve promised.

I am so grateful I can sit here and write (after weeks!). Super grateful I am not blowing my nose,  grateful everyone is better and out of the house (there!) and I’d be even more grateful if there were people like me…out there. I’m a mom, a woman who makes mistakes like any other. At times, I’m quite a mixture of Mother Theresa and Pulp Fiction! (minus the dope, the guns!) Lol!

Wow! I could actually really write quite an endless list of things I’m grateful for! Thanks!!!!!!!!!!! It’s working!!!! May it last! 😉

I feel sooo Pulp right now!!!!!!!!!!!

Adri xxx